


Transition into heaven

by Waldfee



Category: Football RPF
Genre: Borussia Dortmund, Boys In Love, Boys Kissing, FC Schalke 04, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, German National Team, Hömmels, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-27
Updated: 2017-10-08
Packaged: 2018-12-20 12:16:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11920728
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Waldfee/pseuds/Waldfee
Summary: Mats likes to cuddle, and so does Benni.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> There's not much plot, just a little story about tenderness and falling in love.   
> I'm no native speaker by the way, but I think my English is not too bad. Have fun! ;-)

Mats smiled idly, silently watching the half-sleeping Benni, who was contentedly cuddled to his side, head rested against the taller man’s shoulder. He raised his hand to affectionately pat the other’s back, then glided higher to stroke the soft, light brown hair. Benni was loosing his hair rather quick now, Mats contemplated, but also he did not care at all, as the Shalker player had a nice face, very friendly eyes and a beautiful warm and caring smile. Mats would have even gone so far as to call Benni beautiful, and that’s because of the charm and natural grace the other man displayed, the nearly playful way of his movements, the open emotions he often showed, and most of all because of his warm heart and good character.  
Yes, Benni was a true friend, and Mats was glad to have him. He was content indeed, he realised. He had a good job, a true friend and a loyal, loving family. What else should he need? Ok, there had been Cathy once, but their relationship was over now for some months and he did not miss her anymore. He had Benni now to talk to, to laugh and watch movies together, huddled together on Mats’ big couch. And why not hold him close to get a little comfort and security? While both of them had no girlfriend, this should not be a bad thing, and as footballers, they were used to the hugs and many careless touches of their team mates in any case.

Here in his own or Benni’s flat, no one cared at all and also Benni did not seem to mind, seemed to accept and even seek comfort in the silent affectionate touches instead, liked to fall asleep on his shoulder with his arm thrown over Mats’ torso, liked hugging him far more often than what might be appropriate for other people. 

But now Mats’ collarbone started to hurt, as Benni had shifted his head in the mean time and pressed against his shoulder rather uncomfortably. And the smaller man also seemed to notice finally, because he mumbled something undistinguishable, moved away slowly and blearily wiped his tired eyes with one hand.

Mats gently squeezed his shoulder. “Benni… Let’s go to bed now. There you go.”

Mats stood and turned off the television, then extended a hand to help Benni up, laid a hand on his back afterwards to slowly push him into the right direction. The other man said nothing, but let himself be guided and only short moments later they arrived in Mats’ large bedroom where they laid down again. Seconds later, Mats felt Benni shift to his side again, and gladly he extended an arm to embrace his friend. Sure, they had not slept in this position before, but it was nice, oh so nice.

“Good night, Mats”, he heard the softly spoken words, felt the way Benni’s finger lightly carded through his hair.

“Night, Benni”, he answered, pressed a little kiss to the other’s temple and took notice of the tender smile which was to be seen around Benni’s mouth. Tightening his hold around the strong shoulders beside him, he finally closed his eyes to doze off. All was well.


	2. Chapter 2

Mats slept very well upon this night, and when he slowly drifted into awakening the next morning, he immediately sensed this immense comfort again, the affectionate warmth of Benni’s hands caressing his back, and he felt happy and loved. He would have preferred to stay like this forever, tried to soak up the mixture of positive feelings, but when he felt himself smiling, he also heard his friend’s silently murmured “Mats…”

He smiled some more, until soft fingers touched his cheek in an infinite careful gesture. Realizing he couldn’t pretend to be asleep any longer, he finally opened his eyes. Benni smiled at him, shining eyes full of warmth. “Hey… Did you sleep well?”

Mats nodded, meanwhile gazing intently at his treasured friend. Benedikt really was beautiful, and he would have loved to keep him here for the whole week, not just for some rare hours. But tomorrow each of them had their respective training again, so Benni had to leave for Gelsenkirchen today. Sometime today, but not necessarily now or even soon.  
So Mats squeezed his friend’s shoulder, then shifted his position until he came to lay on his back. Benni followed his movement and cuddled his head against the bigger man’s chest. And maybe Mats should have felt some kind of embarrassment or discomfort considering their intimate contact, but he felt none at all. They were so close in every aspect, and it was perfect. There was simply no need to feel embarrassed.

They were laying still, until Benni spoke up: “Don’t you think it’s odd that I’m here with you, instead of Cathy or some other girlfriend?" 

Mats laughed slowly, clearly not understanding the sudden question, which apparently came out of nowhere. “You mean, we seem too gay? I don’t care. Doesn’t really matter what people say. Besides, everything is more comfortable with you and much more uncomplicated.”

“But eventually, you will miss something.”

Mats denied wholeheartedly. “I don’t miss anything at the moment, beside you shutting up on this unnecessary topic. I don’t care for another girlfriend now. Please don’t destroy the good mood, ‘cause I wanna cuddle some more.”

“Sorry”, Benni mumbled amusedly, falling still and relaxing against Mats’ side. The Dortmunder held tighter onto Benni, caressed his hair again, thoroughly massaging his shoulder blades afterwards, as if to send away any deeper thoughts or sorrows the other had. He wanted Benni to feel good too, as he loved him like no other person. Should he maybe tell him? But that would really be gay after all, and Mats knew he was not, so he stayed silent on this matter, trusting Benni to know his heart and mind.  
Plus, Benni had been with Lisa for a couple of years until she left him, so there was no reason to question their sexuality. In reality, this was the perfect concept – friendship and love with lots of cuddling and closeness, but without the typical complications between men and women.

And really, Benedikt melted into his touch, smiling every now and then, so Mats didn’t worry any longer. They left the large double-sized bed one hour later, to have a late and very comfortable breakfast, still in their sleeping clothes and with lots of coffee.

This day passed like the one before also had, with eating and cooking together, watching some more TV shows and going for a walk in the afternoon. They were too lazy to do anything more than that, as they would spend enough energy in training tomorrow.

Then it was time to depart until next weekend. Sometimes Mats already felt as if being in some kind of long-distance relationship, and he felt sorry for that. Next evening he would be alone again, regretfully. Deep inside, he wanted more than that.

Tenderly he hugged Benni close to him, both of them standing in the entrance to Mats’ house. The other man accepted the embrace readily enough, but there was also something stiff in his way of moving now, what Mats didn’t comprehend in the very instant. Then, Benni stood back, gazing at him with big, searching eyes, nearly desperate now, or so it seemed. In the next instant, he leaned forward, to gently kiss Mats on the lips’ corner.

Mats stilled. He hadn’t expected this, didn’t dare to move for being insecure, and didn’t know what to say or do either. It wasn’t exactly fear what he felt, it was closer to being shocked, but most of all he sensed that he had missed on something, maybe for a long time, and now it finally dawned upon him with crushing force.

Benni leaned back again, grazing Mats' hand lightly. “Bye, Mats…” Then, when Mats still didn’t move, his face displayed a considerate amount of turmoil, until he fled. Before Mats could have thought of how to react, he turned, walking to his car rather hurriedly. 

“But Benni, please wait”, Mats was shouting, finally starting to go after his friend, completely distressed now. But it was too late. The Schalker player barely looked at him while entering and turning his car, then he sped up and was soon gone.

 

And Mats still stood there in his flat’s entrance, disbelievingly. And full of sorrow now. He already missed Benni. Why had he gone so fast? And what the heck had happened at all?


	3. Chapter 3

Mats turned slowly, to go back to the living room and sit on the couch heavily, where he had been with his friend just some minutes ago. Benni had kissed him… strange. That seemed to mean he had some more feelings for him, some more… romantic feelings? Sexual feelings? Maybe Benedikt was even in love with him? A big wave of excitement, remorse and anxiety rushed through him, all at the same time, hitting him hard as if to completely take his breath away.  
But what had been with Lisa? Surely the Schalker would have mentioned something if he was bisexual or the like. There had been no clues, no secret hints, nothing.

Mats didn’t fully understand, but he knew Benni was hurt, and he had to call him to make amends. His beautiful Benni, whom he had never wanted to hurt.  
He sighed deeply, finally went to the kitchen to do the dishes, to give Benni some time to arrive home safely and to calm himself. It was hard, so incredibly hard to be patient this one time, when there was nothing of importance to calm his own mind as well. He turned on the radio, which helped a little, but soon he found himself fading out the voice of the speaker, so in the end he switched it off again. After a little more than one hour, he picked up his phone and dialled the well known number. 

It took only a few seconds for the other man to accept the call. A short moment of silence followed, which Mats hurriedly interrupted. “Benni?” 

“Yes, Mats?” His friend’s voice sounded calm, but also on guard.

“I… I’m sorry, I didn’t understand. I didn’t mean to reject you or give you any impression of the sort.” He swallowed and proclaimed, all the while hoping to sound sincere. “With a little more warning, I would have kissed you back.”

Benni sounded doubtful. “You’re sure? Because I’m not. And what more warning do you need than cuddling with your best friend for days without end and even sleeping in the same bed with him? I’m no teddy bear.”

Shit, Benni really was annoyed. What to do now? He did not know, but he couldn’t give up on this yet. “Okay, I’m not so sure. I was pretty much overwhelmed, and I still am. I just like cuddling, you’re my best friend, and, um… you’re attractive and nice and all. And besides, I didn’t know you liked men. How should I have known? Please, Benni, I honestly had no clue how a few hugs and touches might affect our friendship. Why did you not try to talk to me?”

Benni’s voice changed subtly to a more open, more accepting tone. “Thanks, I guess. I also didn’t know for a long time. Maybe I should have told you. I was often thinking about it, but…” The soft, contemplating voice on the other end of the connection came to halt. It made Mats’ heart ache. 

“Please, Benni, forgive me, I’ve been foolish. I miss you, you hear me? Can I come visit you?”

There was a short moment of silence, until his friend said: “I don’t think that’s a very good idea at the moment, it’s late after all.” And even more silent, he added: “I miss you too, Mats.”

Mats beamed happily, now he saw his chance to win his Benni back. “So what about tomorrow then, after training? We both would have some time to think this over, and then we can talk. No pressure intended, but I can’t let this stand between us until next weekend.”

Benni chuckled softly, with a tender undertone that Mats immediately loved. “Ok, if you really want to drive here?”

“Yes, I want to, Gelsenkirchen is not that far away from Dortmund. And Benni, I swear, I will make it up to you.”

“How so?”

Mats sighed. “I don’t know yet. But I have strong feelings for you as well, Bene, you ought to know that. I wanted to tell you today actually, but I didn’t know how to. But I do love you.”

“Wow…” There was a moment of silence, then Benni calmly exclaimed: “I wish it really was so.”

“It is so”, Mats stressed, all the while feeling a strange sense of longing for his still aching friend and the closeness they had shared earlier this day. Oh how much he wanted his Benni happy, wanted to comfort and hold him! “We have always been close and you know I would not lie to you. I still have to adjust to the idea of being with another man, but I need you so badly, Benni. You’re the best thing in my life! Please, say yes and I’m in front of your door tomorrow right after training. I’ll even bring along your favourite food.”

Benni chuckled again, his voice full of warmth now. “Mats, you’re such a darling. How can I say no to that? Just come, then we can talk about it. I must admit I’m very sceptical to your sudden change of mind, but – you’re my best friend as well, and we have to sort things out. The saying goes that talking might help in any relationship.”

“I plan to not only talk about it”, Mats declared decisively.

“We’ll see”, Benni answered in a lightly flirting tone.

There was some more silence, while both of them contemplated what to say next. The situation was not easy, and even if Benni’s voice now sounded a lot more confident and good-humoured than before and they had managed to talk about it, things were still unclear. 

Benni seemed to be only too aware of this also, because he finally exclaimed: “As much as I’d love to listen to your enchanting voice some more, I’d call it quits for tonight. Let’s both think this through. I know I can trust you to not pull any prank on me.”

“Of course, Benni. And I must admit I would promise you red roses and everything else at the moment, just for fear of losing you.”

“I noticed. And besides, I don’t care for roses, I just need your love”, Benni said half flirting, half serious. 

Mats felt his cheeks warming up at this very open declaration, but heard himself say: “I’ll show you my love, and maybe some other things as well. If you will also - show me.”

Now Benni joyfully answered: “I think that can be done. Now sleep well, my dear, and maybe I’ll dream of you. Good night, Mats.”

“You, too. Good night, Benni.” Mats ended the call and laid down his phone again, to stare at it with absent mind. It seemed that Benni really was in love with him, or something of the sort. And now, what now? Yes, he loved his friend dearly, and he had spoken big words about making it up to him. But could he, really? Kissing Benni didn’t seem like too much of a matter, Mats felt enough tenderness in his heart to do just that, and he was absolutely sure that right in this very moment he would have kissed the other man speechless. In essence, they had flirted so easily that he felt dizzy almost, and yeah, it had been a fun thing to do, the exaggerated words only barely masking the deep truths behind them. 

But other than that? Was he able to make love to Benedikt, to touch him intimately? Because that’s what was about to happen if he wanted to make his friend happy. And now he felt some kind of thrill, but also a big portion of fear and uncertainty. He had seen Benni naked many times after all; his body was flawless, with broad shoulders and a strong, yet lean torso, his buttocks nice and firm. And he had felt enough of an also physical attraction to have cuddled and cherished him for weeks. Or had it already been months, in the end?

But no, he hadn’t checked out his other intimate parts too closely, and he didn’t know how to touch another man there; this was just too far from his mind at the moment. How would his friend look like when aroused and erect? Mats shivered in anticipation and uncertainty and so he put that thought back to the far away side of his mind. Hell, he hadn’t got laid in ages, and now he already pictured his best friend in amorous situations, he should just stop. And maybe they could start slowly and concentrate on other, easier things first, on the love and tenderness they shared, on hugging and kissing each other. 

So Mats took refuge in this thought and went to bed early, as the new day would pose some new challenges for him.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the last chapter is probably not too surprising, but I hope you will enjoy it nonetheless!

The next day Mats rose early, to head for training and concentrate on that only for the time being, although it was hard so resist the dozens of questions which kept rising up inside of his head. How would Benni react to him today? Should he kiss him the very moment they met each other, just to make things clear, or better wait for a more convenient opportunity? What should they talk about what they hadn’t said already? Was it the right decision to completely forget about women and to try a relationship with his very male, but also very lovely friend?  
And yes, he loved this guy, with all of his heart. With Benni, everything was nice and almost too easy, as they knew each other too well for him to question them being able to keep a loving and supportive relationship.

But was he also in love with Benedikt? Might he himself be bisexual in the end, too? He still didn’t know for sure, all of his former beliefs seemed to be shattered.

After training, Mats quickly headed for the showers and left the club’s place as soon as possible. He bought dinner and some extra chocolates for Benni as a gift, because he couldn’t exactly give him flowers.  
Then finally, he rang the bell to Benni’s house while it was still afternoon. Contrary to his usual habits he was extremely nervous now, but he didn’t have to wait long for the owner to come and open him.

“Mats…”

“Benni!”

With searching eyes, only half masking both their needful souls, they gazed intently at each other. Benni seemed to be okay today, Mats realized. Then he stepped back a little to make room for Mats to enter. After having closed the door behind them, the Dortmunder turned and instantly pulled Benni into a tight, very tight, long lasting hug. He held on for dear life, the food still in his hands, and Benni let him. The latter rested his head down upon Mats’ shoulder, sighing contently, and a swell of glowing happiness bubbled up in Mats’ heart. Not quite able to resist, he pecked the other man lightly on the cheek.

This caused Benni to bring a little distance between them, and again they held eye contact. The Schalker player was smiling now, and to Mats it felt like standing in front of a radiant light. He made his next move without too much thinking, just leaned forward to softly graze the other’s lips for a mere second. But the sensation sent a sudden rush of emotions through him, and Benni also seemed to be affected by the contact, as he was apparently at loss for words and then took Mats’ big hand in his. “Come”, was the only word he said and pulled the taller man with him, who found just enough time to put down his things and get lost of his shoes somehow. 

A short moment later they were in Benni’s living room, hugging each other again, sitting closely on the couch that seemed way too big for a single inhabitant’s apartment. And Mats held Benni comfortingly, while the Schalker clung to him, fighting the intense emotions that were overwhelming him at the same time. Mats knew Benni to be a passionate, deeply emotional man; he had to keep this side of him in check on the pitch, but also needed a break-out of rules every now and then.

“I’ve waited for this, Mats, for such a long time”, came the whispering words of his long time friend.

“How long?” Mats dared to ask with caution, not knowing if it was a fitting question.

“Close to two years now. I’ve waited for a sign, for you to fall in love with me. And when Cathy left you and we grew closer and closer still, I thought the time has finally come. I was not sure, though, and I’m not completely sure now, either. But you said you love me, Mats?” After noticing his own words, the Schalker stopped and quietly added: “Oh, that’s too much pressure I’m directing at you, sorry for that. I know you love me as a friend. Just give me a moment to collect myself.” Benni leaned back and straightened his back, to find back to his usual composure and confident attitude.

Seeing all that, the Dortmunder’s heart swelled up with sympathy, while he brought his hands up to tenderly encompass his friend’s face with them. The kind, delicate face that spoke of gentleness, of a pure soul and sharp mind within a strong body, and the hazel coloured eyes which at all times told Mats about the owner’s emotions. “I do love you, Benni, always, and maybe not solely as a friend. Oh, I was so blind to my own feelings. And still I can promise you nothing but to care for you deeply, because this is completely new to me. So please, let’s go slowly.”

“I understand, I was once in a similar situation, too. We have all the time in the world, just be true to me. Tell me if this is not enough for you. ”

“I can do that, but first I can kiss all your sorrows away.” And Mats did just that, closed his eyes and laid his lips gently onto Benni’s mouth, to kiss him with everything he was, with every ounce of love he felt, remembering and cherishing every memory he had with him, to gladly create hundreds and thousands new ones now. It was a try, for sure. But a first try is a beginning also.

Soon, they forgot about time and everything else, too engrossed with each other to care for the sorrows and challenges of the outside world. Did they have sex on that night, you might ask? No, it was too early for that still, but they immensely enjoyed touching one another nonetheless.

 

Two months later:

 

Mats hummed in contentment, all the while cutting the vegetables and preparing everything else for their late dinner in Benni’s kitchen. 

“Hey darling, looks good what you’re doing…” When Benni entered, clad only in a towel which hung extremely low on his hips, and pressed himself to Mats’ body teasingly for a few seconds to peck him on the cheek, he had to suppress the very wide grin that threatened to come over his face. Then his boyfriend left again, to take place in one of the big armchairs in the dining room nearby.

Mats took one more look at his friends’ swinging hips, then concentrated on his cooking once more. Things had turned out to be bright and wonderful again, after they had really tried to have a serious relationship. He was actually very much in love with Benni now and couldn’t imagine it any other way for the next years to come. Since they had first shared bed together, he just couldn’t get enough of Benni anymore, of their intimacies, the lingering touches and loving glances. And Benni, being the smart Schalker he was, took advantage of Mats’ newly found weakness shamelessly, teased him endlessly by walking close by only in his underwear or with even less clothing, let Mats massage him for hours, revelled in the blatant ogling Mats directed at him and enjoyed the many compliments he got.   
And Mats did all of this gladly. Truth be told, he was happy too and enjoyed being with Benni immensely. He also hoped to get his boyfriend into bed tonight again, to make love to him with every finesse he knew of. 

Of course sex was not the only thing they did together; often they would find themselves dining in quiet restaurants, going to the cinema or simply walking in the park side by side. As they somehow managed to meet twice a week at least despite their jobs, he was not lonely anymore and life was good again. Yes, they had to be careful, yes, they still had to sort some things out, but they were good. It seemed that starting to cuddle his best friend too much had been the perfect gift of fate, or maybe some long-needed sign of his subconscious, after all.


End file.
